Watch Your Language: The Words That Cost Private Clubs Their Best Employees
In hospitality, we spend a great deal of time training our teams to speak with members and guests. We coach tone, refine phrasing, and focus on delivering the right experience.
There is another conversation happening every day that deserves the same attention.
It is how leaders speak to their teams.
The language used internally can shape culture faster than any training program. It determines whether employees feel respected and supported or start looking elsewhere.
Today, they are looking.
According to Gallup, 51 percent of U.S. employees are actively looking for a new job. In hospitality, turnover rates often range between 70 – 80 percent and annually.
Retention is not just about pay or benefits. It is about daily experience. That experience is shaped by leadership.
The Language Leaders Miss
Most leaders are not trying to frustrate their teams. They are focused on standards, efficiency and results.
Intent does not always match impact. Over time, patterns in language send clear messages:
- You are on your own.
- Your input is not valued.
- Your growth is not a priority.
Once that message is felt, disengagement follows.
What Leaders Should Keep in Mind
Strong leaders do not just focus on what needs to be done. They are equally aware of how their words are received and if they are understood.
They understand that language is not simply communication. It is leadership in action.
Effective leaders are intentional about communicating TRUST:
Tone: The same message can build confidence or create tension. Tone determines which one it becomes.
Respect: Every interaction should reinforce that the individual matters, not just the outcome.
Unambiguity: Clear expectations eliminate frustration. Vague direction creates it.
Steadiness: Unpredictable communication erodes trust. Steadiness builds it.
Thoughtfulness: Rushed or dismissive language signals that people are not a priority. Thoughtful communication signals that they are.
Why It Matters
Leadership behavior remains one of the primary reasons employees leave. People stay where they feel valued. They leave where they feel dismissed. Language is one of the clearest signals of that difference.
Every interaction matters. How you correct, respond, and guide matters. Over time, those moments define the experience of working with you.
A Leadership Reminder
Simon Sinek said, “Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge.”
That care is demonstrated in everyday conversations.
If we expect our teams to be intentional in how they speak to members, leaders must hold themselves to that same standard. The language used every day shapes how people experience the workplace and whether they choose to stay. In an environment where retention depends on trust and respect, the most effective leaders understand that their words carry weight and that it is their responsibility to “Watch Your Language.”
THE BOARDROOM Magazine – May 2026
Michelle A. Riklan, ACRW, CPRW, CEIC, CJSS is a Career Strategist, Search & Consulting Executive at KOPPLIN KUEBLER & WALLACE (KK&W). KK&W is the leading executive search and consulting firm in the private club industry. Michelle can be reached at 833-KKW-HIRE (559-4473) ext. 717 and at michelle@kkandw.com.






