Step into a thoughtful conversation with Michelle Riklan, career strategist, consulting and search executive with KOPPLIN KUEBLER & WALLACE. With a career shaped by communication, human resources, executive coaching and strategic search, Michelle shares how language, listening and transparency influence leadership at every level.
Most of this column has been about the words we choose. The phrases that slip out, the framing that reveals what we actually think, the language that lands differently than we intend. This time I want to look at the other side of it. Not the words we say, but the ones we never get around to saying, and the messages we send without speaking at all. Culture is built as much from absence as from presence. If appreciation is never spoken, the staff concludes it is not part of the deal. If good work is noticed silently and corrected loudly, people learn that the fastest way to get the leader’s attention is to make a mistake. None of that requires a single harsh word. It only requires silence in the places where words belong.
Start with appreciation, because it is the easiest thing to withhold without noticing. Do the people working for us know that they are valued, not in the abstract but in the ordinary course of a week? When a member stops you in the hallway to say the service at last night’s event was flawless, does that praise ever reach the server, the captain, the kitchen? Or does it evaporate the moment you nod and move on? Acknowledgment that stays trapped at the top never happened as far as the staff is concerned.
A club runs on cross-functional work in a way few businesses do. The dinner that delights a member begins long before the meal arrives. The valet who greets the car, the front desk that knows the member by name, the host who seats them at the right table, the server who reads the room, the server assistant who keeps the water filled and the bread coming, the kitchen staff who time every plate to the floor. Every one of those people made someone else’s job possible. The question for leadership is whether the team understands that interdependence, or whether each department experiences itself as an island that happens to share a clubhouse. People who can see how their work lifts someone else’s work cover for each other, flag problems early, and stop keeping score.
That awareness does not happen on its own. It is taught and modeled, and most of the modeling is done by what leadership chooses to notice out loud. When a manager says, in front of the team, that the smooth event happened because the office and the kitchen were talking all afternoon, that manager is teaching the room how the place actually works. When a manager says nothing, the lesson is that the work is invisible and the credit is private. There is a member-facing version of this too. Members take their cues from leadership. A club where leadership models gratitude becomes a club where members say thank you. Leadership cannot mandate that members be gracious, but it can make graciousness the obvious house style, and most members will follow the house.
Now let me turn to the part of this I have to watch in myself, because watching our language means watching the language we are not speaking aloud, the kind that lives in the body rather than the mouth. I hold a master’s degree in speech, rhetoric, and interpersonal communication. I wrote my thesis on communication in the workplace. I have studied this, taught it, and researched it, and I still have to keep myself in check. Early in my career, I was a serious eye roller. I am sure I relapse now and then, but I worked hard to stop, because I came to understand what that small gesture announced to the person across from me. An eye roll says, without a word, that what you just said was not worth my respect. No amount of careful verbal language survives that.
So consider what our bodies are saying while our mouths say the right things. When an employee is talking to us, are we looking at them, or are we glancing at the phone? Do we tell ourselves that we are simply too busy, too pulled in ten directions, to give one person our eyes for ninety seconds? The employee hears that excuse perfectly, even though we never said it out loud. The unspoken sentence is, I am too busy to give you my full attention, and our behavior delivers it cleanly. The crossed arms, the half-turn back toward the computer, the impatient nod that is really a request to wrap it up, all of it speaks.
The same goes for the balance of what we choose to mention. A leader who only ever speaks up to correct and goes quiet when things go well is sending a message through the asymmetry. The message is that good work is expected and therefore unremarkable, and that the leader’s voice exists mainly to find fault. People stop bringing that leader good news. They brace when the leader approaches. The silence around the positive is its own kind of language, and it is rarely the language we intend.
Pass the praise down, by name, the same day you hear it. None of this is solved by a recognition program or a poster in the break room. It is solved in the small, repeated moments where a leader makes the unspoken spoken. “A member told me the dinner service last night was perfect. That was your table, Chris. I wanted you to hear it.” Specific, attributed, prompt. Praise that travels loses its power with every hour it sits. Name the handoff while you are at it, not just the hero. “The event ran smoothly because the office and the kitchen were talking all afternoon.” Thanks people and teaches the room how the work connects, which is the thing that makes the next event run smoothly too.
Make appreciation a standing question rather than a special occasion. “Who made your job easier this week?” asked in a pre-shift or department meeting turns acknowledgment into a habit the staff owns. Set the tone for members out loud as well. “Our team put a great deal of work into tonight, and I know they would appreciate hearing it from you,” said to the right member, does more to build a culture of mutual respect than any policy.
Then watch the body. Put the phone down when someone is speaking to you. Turn your chair all the way around. Give the ninety seconds. If you catch the eye roll forming, and you will, stop it before it lands. The goal is not perfection, because none of us manages that. The goal is to make sure that what we say without words is what we would be willing to say with them.
Culture is the sum of what a club chooses to make audible. The appreciation we voice, the connections we name, the attention we visibly pay, all of it teaches the team what kind of place they are working in. So does everything we leave unsaid. So, watch your language. Then watch the language you never say out loud, because your team has already heard it.
BoardRoom Briefs – 2026
Michelle A. Riklan, ACRW, CPRW, CEIC, CJSS is a Career Strategist, Search & Consulting Executive at KOPPLIN KUEBLER & WALLACE (KK&W). KK&W is the leading executive search and consulting firm in the private club industry. Michelle can be reached at 833-KKW-HIRE (559-4473) ext. 717 and at michelle@kkandw.com.
Steve Jobs once observed that getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to him. In many societies, being dismissed from employment is often regarded more negatively than voluntarily resigning. While both scenarios represent the termination of a professional relationship, dismissal may carry implications of ethical or moral misconduct. This perception may stem from longstanding workplace cultures where lifelong job retention was considered fundamental to professional success.
Although being dismissed from a position is not something I take pride in, it does not diminish my character. In my case, the situation was simply a mutual decision to discontinue working together. It is particularly difficult when the other party communicates, ‘We no longer wish to partner with you,’ or states, ‘At this time, we do not see the value in your contributions or talents.’ I have certainly reflected on whether I had become institutionalized in some of my beliefs or had grown too comfortable during my tenure.
When addressing young managers about my career, I openly discuss the obstacles I encountered along the way, including challenges, terminations, and transitions between roles. Most of my positions resulted from opportunities for learning, growth, and organizational changes that aligned with my abilities. However, there have been occasions when employers chose to pursue different directions. Such decisions are common in both professional and personal relationships, and it is important to recognize that each party may have its own perspective.
Early in my career, I made the decision to resign from a position without securing another opportunity, which presented challenges when explaining my period of unemployment. Employment gaps are often among the most difficult aspects to address on a résumé or during an interview. Questions regarding periods of unemployment are especially common among seasoned hiring committee members, who may view continuous employment as essential regardless of personal satisfaction. Historically, employment was perceived as an obligation, and taking time off was discouraged. In contrast, today’s culture encourages a balance between personal fulfillment and professional development.
On one occasion in my career, I was asked to resign—not because of ethical issues, but because our values had diverged. The organization decided to move in a new direction that differed from my own. It marked the end of my journey there, and while I remained emotionally invested, I may have become too involved in the organization’s strategic direction. This scenario is common in clubs where leadership changes. As the board transitions, a leader may find themselves on the opposite side of important decisions. No ethics or morals were compromised—only a shift in organizational perspective. As Stephen Covey said, “We agree to disagree,” which summarizes the situation well. Though I am not proud of these endings, I am proud of how I conducted myself and appreciate that the organization had the courage to make the change. I have had to make similar decisions with employees, helping them move beyond their own stumbling blocks.
Why does it feel better to resign than to be fired? Perhaps resignation provides a greater sense of control and confidence that another organization will value your talents more. Both situations represent change, the ending of a relationship, and both have casualties. In many cases, it is the coworkers and members who feel the impact most. People work for people, and when leadership changes above them, their entire professional experience shifts. Few people truly enjoy change, even though it is often described as essential for growth.
An Executive Chef position is about continual self-development, and tenure is the byproduct of mutual success. Some chefs become institutionalized, valuing loyalty over effectiveness. They may expect greater compensation based primarily on years of service rather than measurable results. I found myself in such a position after earning advanced education, asking for increased compensation even though the degree or certification was not required for the position.
I am pleased to have maintained a positive relationship with the organization after being asked to resign. I appreciate that their decision ultimately supported my professional growth, even though it was their decision to make. While I remained committed to the organization’s business model, I acknowledge that my compensation expectations, increased operational demands, and firm stance on strategic direction contributed to my departure.
Most hiring committee members understand that professional relationships may end without unethical conduct. It is important to recognize that professional partnerships sometimes conclude, resulting in the ideal candidate becoming available for another opportunity. While termination may not always be viewed positively, it is natural for both personal and professional relationships to reach their conclusion, allowing everyone involved to continue moving forward.
When coaching a candidate who has been released from a position, it is best to respond openly rather than avoid questions. Maintain a positive and professional attitude, and use the experience as an opportunity for growth. Always speak respectfully about your previous employer. While you cannot erase the past, do not dwell on it. Every life experience brings wisdom, and learning to handle rejection is among the most valuable lessons.
Club + Resort Chef – June 2026
Lawrence T. McFadden, CMC, ECM is a food and beverage training consultant and search executive with KOPPLIN KUEBLER & WALLACE, a consulting firm providing executive search, strategic planning and data analysis services to the private club and hospitality industries.
There are awards that recognize a title, and there are those that recognize a life’s work.
The BoardRoom Gary Player Educator of the Year is firmly the latter and watching Marcie Mills receive this recognition is one of the more gratifying moments I’ve experienced in this industry. Not just as her teammate at Kopplin Kuebler & Wallace, but as someone who has had a front-row seat to who she is and what she gives to this profession. And what she gives, at her core, is education. Not in a classroom sense, but in the deepest and most lasting sense of the word.
I’ve known Marcie for a long time. Long enough to have seen her in the pressure of real leadership, navigating the complexity of running world-class private clubs. Long enough to have watched her transition from leading organizations from the inside to shaping them from the outside. And now long enough to see every single day what it looks like when someone is genuinely, fundamentally fueled by the success of other people. That is Marcie. Not occasionally, not when it’s convenient. Always.
What strikes me most, having known her across different chapters, is how consistent she has been. The same person who poured herself into her teams as a GM/COO is the same person sitting across the table from a young leader today, asking the right questions, listening carefully and helping them see something in themselves they haven’t quite seen yet. The setting has changed. The scale has changed. The person has not.
She understood something early in her career, shaped by not always having great mentors to lean on: leadership is not about having all the answers. It is about creating an environment where others can find theirs. That shift changed how she led then, and it is the foundation of everything she does now. It also gave her something the best educators always have: a deep and personal understanding of what it feels like to need guidance, and the commitment to make sure others don’t have to go without it.
Her transition to KK&W as a search and consulting executive has done something remarkable. It has multiplied her reach without diminishing her depth. The clubs and leaders she now serves span the United States and internationally, and she brings to every one of those relationships something that cannot be manufactured: the credibility of someone who has actually done the job. She has sat in the chair. She has managed the board relationships. She has made the hard calls at the end of a long week when the right answer wasn’t obvious. She is not teaching from a textbook. She is teaching from a career.
As a mentor, she operates with a level of intentionality that is rare. She does not offer generic encouragement. She listens first, really listens, and then asks the kind of questions that help people see themselves more honestly, their strengths, their blind spots, the potential they can feel but haven’t yet been able to name. Great educators don’t give people answers. They give people better questions, and Marcie has built her entire approach around that principle. The leaders she has mentored don’t just perform better in the next role. They think differently about leadership for the rest of their careers. That is the mark of a true educator: the impact outlasts the conversation.
As a coach, she brings that same intentionality with a sharper focus on performance in the moment. She works with leaders in real situations, helping them navigate difficult board dynamics, communicate under pressure and lead through ambiguity without losing their composure or their team’s confidence. Her coaching is not about fixing people. It is about unlocking what is already there and teaching leaders to access it consistently, even when the path forward isn’t clear. Her work is grounded in emotional intelligence, built on trust and always pointed toward what the leader needs to be ready for next.
As a speaker, Marcie educates a room the way only someone who has truly lived the content can. I have seen her just before she steps in front of a group, and what I notice in those moments stays with me. There is a nervousness to her, a quiet anxiety that surprises people who only know her from the stage. But it isn’t fear. It is reverence. It is what it looks like when someone feels the full weight of the opportunity in front of them. That feeling never gets routine for her, and that is precisely why the people in those rooms feel it too. She speaks from experience, specific, hard-won, real experience. People leave her sessions not just informed but genuinely changed in how they think. Her message resonates not because it is polished. It resonates because it is true.
What ties the mentoring, the coaching and the speaking together is a consistency of purpose that I find genuinely remarkable. Marcie is not playing a different character depending on the room. Whether she is in a quiet one-on-one with a young professional, working through a high-stakes moment with a seasoned executive, or standing in front of a room full of club leaders at a national conference, she is always doing the same thing. She is teaching. She is lifting. She is making the people in front of her better than they were before they walked in.
That is nowhere more evident than in the way she has championed young women in this industry. For many of them, Marcie is not just a mentor. She is proof of what is possible. She has opened doors that were not always open, created pathways that did not previously exist and invested deeply in women who needed someone to believe in them before they fully believed in themselves. Because when that level of trust exists, real education happens. The kind that changes not just a career but a life.
And through all of it, Marcie keeps learning herself. She seeks feedback. She stays curious. She does not ask of others what she is unwilling to do herself, and that alignment between what she teaches and how she lives is, in many ways, her most powerful credential.
Marcie Mills has been leaving a lasting mark for her entire career, first in the clubs she led with excellence, and now across an industry that is measurably better for her presence in it. Her influence lives in the leaders she has developed, the careers she has shaped, the rooms she has moved and the standard she continues to set every single day.
This one is well earned, Marcie. And all of us at KK&W are proud to call you a teammate.
The BoardRoom Magazine – May/June 2026
Tom Wallace on behalf of all three partners at KK&W.
Perhaps the most vexing issue any private club board and general manager can face each month is how to truncate the seemingly endless monthly board meeting. I would submit that in finding a solution to this problem, we might need to turn to a renowned author.
My favorite habit in Stephen Covey’s best-selling book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” is “begin with the end in mind.” I believe that private club board members who subscribe to that concept will enjoy the benefits of productive and efficient board meetings. Success in truncating the endless discussions most club boards suffer through each month requires preparation in three distinct areas.
First, each board member must contribute to the process by ensuring they are prepared to give a report for the committee they chair. Most club standing committees will meet each month, and it is incumbent upon the chairperson and the general manager to see that an agenda is published and followed at the committee meeting.
Discussion items requiring a recommendation for action by the entire board should be prepared as “action plans.” These action plans will provide the rationale for the committee in making the suggested course of action and will also include any estimated costs that would result from the action plan.
Committee meeting minutes will document the thorough discussion and comments of the committee members, and these minutes should be attached to the committee chairperson’s report to the board. Keep in mind that the real work of the club should be done at the committee and staff levels, and not at the board level. Action plan items should receive a thorough hearing by the appropriate committee members before being referred to the board of directors for a final decision.
Second, the club president must be assertive enough to keep the board members focused on the agenda. The purpose of the board meeting is to review the work of the club committees and to act on the action plans presented by each chairperson. The president must ensure that the discussion does not rehash or replace the work of the committee members, but responds respectfully to the recommendations committees make.
Many clubs have developed an executive committee, usually consisting of the club officers and perhaps one other board member, which meets a couple of days before the board meeting to discuss agenda items. The executive committee will also review the minutes of committee meetings held during the month and discuss action plan items arising from the committees that will be presented to the entire board.
If the club does not have an executive committee, this important review function of the committee work falls primarily upon the club president, who must insist that each committee chairperson provide minutes and written action plans before the full board meeting.
Only committee chairpersons who have complied will be recognized for their reports at the board meeting.
Third, the club general manager should be the catalyst to ensure that committees meet regularly, with appropriate agendas and properly recorded minutes. The general manager will help committee chairpersons schedule their meetings, develop the agendas, notify the members of meeting dates and times and take meeting minutes. Following the meeting, the general manager will provide a copy of the minutes for the chairperson to approve.
The committee meetings may result in action plan items recommended to the executive board and the full board. The general manager and committee chairperson need to encourage full discussion of these items by the committee members so that the board will respect their recommendation and not “rediscuss” all of the details at the board meeting.
Committee minutes and action plans form the basis for club board decisions. A successful club general manager, a perspicacious club president and committed board members will understand that to “begin with the end in mind,” which is the 90-minute board meeting, you must actively engage each committee to do the work of the club.
If you start with that premise, you will enjoy the resulting 90-minute board meeting. This much I know for sure.
The BoardRoom Magazine – May/June 2026
“This Much I Know for Sure” is a regular feature in BoardRoom magazine. Dick shares some of his reflections based on his 50-plus years of working in the private club business.
The role of the chief financial officer has never been more consequential, or more misunderstood. As private clubs face increasing complexity in operations, capital planning and member expectations, the demand for financial leadership that extends well beyond the balance sheet has never been greater.
Still, many clubs find themselves working alongside a CFO who defaults to constraint rather than possibility. The difference between those two orientations isn’t technical; it’s philosophical. As general managers, CEOs and club leaders responsible for driving organizational performance, you must recognize that distinction and demand better.
The shorthand is simple: the CFNO says no. The CFKNOW leads with knowledge.
UNDERSTANDING THE CLUB’S UNIQUE FINANCIAL DNA
Private clubs don’t operate like corporations, and their financials shouldn’t be evaluated like those of corporations. Yet finance committee and board members who arrive from Fortune 500 backgrounds often bring assumptions that simply don’t translate. One of the most persistent and damaging beliefs is that food and beverage losses represent operational failure.
As Club Benchmarking notes, this is what they call the “F&B Trap,” incorrectly believing that corporate profit-and-loss logic applies to an environment where F&B functions as a member amenity, not a revenue engine. Dues are the economic engine, and capital reserves are the measure of long-term health. Member retention is the metric that matters most.
A CFKNOW understands this instinctively, and more importantly, can articulate it clearly to a boardroom full of intelligent people who may not. That interpretive function isn’t a nice-to-have. It’s the job.
THE CFO AS ORGANIZATIONAL CREDIBILITY
Have you watched a well-intentioned budget conversation derail because a board member is applying the wrong mental model to the right problem? This can be frustrating. The CFO who can avoid that by translating club financial reality into language that resonates with experienced executives becomes one of the most valuable assets in the room.
That kind of credibility isn’t established by credentials alone. It’s built through demonstrated operational fluency: understanding the golf course as well as the general ledger, grasping the connection between an F&B labor ratio and a member satisfaction score, and seeing a capital reserve projection not as a spreadsheet but as a promise to future members.
The CFKNOW earns the seat at the table by showing up prepared to lead, not just report. For GMs/CEOs evaluating or developing their CFO, that distinction is worth examining closely.
FROM GATEKEEPER TO GROWTH PARTNER
Department heads, whether in golf, F&B, or facilities, operate in an environment that is often defined by uncertainty. Equipment may fail mid-season, product costs rise and member expectations shift. A vendor brings a compelling opportunity with a short window. In each of these moments, the CFO either accelerates the organization’s ability to respond or becomes its bottleneck.
Consider three scenarios every club leader will recognize:
In each case, the CFKNOW arrives at the conversation with a 360-degree view of the organization. The result isn’t reckless spending; it’s confident, informed decision-making.
WHAT CLUB LEADERS SHOULD EXPECT—AND REQUIRE
The modern CFO in the private club space must function across four dimensions simultaneously:
For GMs/CEOs, this means recalibrating what success looks like for the CFO role. Technical competence is the baseline. What separates an effective CFO from an exceptional one is the willingness—and the skill—to lead across the organization, not just managing within a function.
When that leadership is present, the impact is measurable: Boards gain confidence, and department heads gain a genuine partner. The GM/CEO gains an ally who extends their reach into financial strategy. And members, ultimately, experience the difference in the quality and consistency of their club.
The private club industry is evolving quickly. The clubs that thrive will be led by teams where the CFO isn’t just keeping score; the CFO is helping shape the outcome.
The BoardRoom Magazine – May/June 2026
Michelle A. Riklan, ACRW, CPRW, CEIC, CJSS is a Career Strategist, Search & Consulting Executive at KOPPLIN KUEBLER & WALLACE (KK&W). KK&W is the leading executive search and consulting firm in the private club industry. Michelle can be reached at 833-KKW-HIRE (559-4473) ext. 717 and at michelle@kkandw.com.