Leadership Lessons

The Bear: Beautiful Dysfunction and Why Leading a Private Club May Be Hospitality’s Greatest Leadership Challenge

The Bear: Beautiful Dysfunction and Why Leading a Private Club May Be Hospitality's Greatest Leadership Challenge

If you’ve watched the hit TV series, The Bear, you know it isn’t really about a restaurant. It’s about people. It’s about pressure. It’s about purpose. It’s about the beautiful dysfunction that exists inside every great hospitality team.

Anyone who has spent time in hospitality can recognize the characters almost immediately. The perfectionist. The quiet workhorse. The rising star. The veteran who struggles with change. The young employee looking for confidence. The leader carrying the weight of everyone else’s success while quietly battling their own doubts.

That’s hospitality.

From the outside, members and guests see polished service, beautiful dining rooms, and flawless events. But behind the scenes? Its controlled chaos packed with emotions, budgets, stress, long hours, miscommunication, staff challenges and deadlines. Yet somehow, a team comes together to create experiences that look effortless.

That’s what makes hospitality so extraordinary. The best teams are rarely perfect. In fact, they’re often wonderfully imperfect. They disagree. They challenge one another. They make mistakes. They frustrate each other. But they show up every day because they believe in something bigger than themselves.

One of the greatest leadership lessons in The Bear is that excellence doesn’t come from eliminating dysfunction. It comes from learning how to channel it. Every organization has conflicts. The difference between average organizations and exceptional ones isn’t the absence of conflict. It’s whether trust is strong enough to survive it.

Hospitality is emotional work. We ask people to care deeply about guests while caring deeply about teammates while simultaneously managing budgets, staffing shortages, demanding customers or members, impossible expectations, working long hours and chasing the relentless pursuit of excellence. Stress exposes personalities. But it also reveals character.

The strongest cultures aren’t built because everyone thinks alike. They’re built because people with different talents learn to trust one another enough to pursue a common purpose. Every successful club I’ve worked with has experienced moments that looked remarkably similar to The Bear.

There were heated conversations. Impossible deadlines. Unexpected setbacks. Staffing shortages. Equipment failures. Events that changed at the last minute. Member complaints. But when the doors opened, the team came together and delivered an experience the members never forgot.

That’s hospitality.

Leadership isn’t about finding perfect people. It’s about helping imperfect people become an extraordinary team. The best General Manager/COOs understand this instinctively. They know when to push. When to listen. When to challenge. When to encourage. When to step in. And, perhaps most importantly…when to step back.

One of the most powerful messages from The Bear is that people don’t become family because everything goes smoothly. They become family because they’ve been through difficult things together. The pressure. The disappointments. The victories. The impossible weekends. The celebrations after surviving another successful event.

Shared adversity creates uncommon trust. That trust becomes culture. That culture becomes excellence. In hospitality, we’ll never eliminate the chaos; nor should we try. Because somewhere inside the beautiful dysfunction is where great teams are born.

But as much as I love The Bear, there is one important difference between Carmy’s world and the world of a private club General Manager/COO:

Carmy has one restaurant.

A General Manager/COO has an entire community.

Imagine asking someone to be the CEO of multiple hospitality organizations operating simultaneously, each with different customers, different employees, different financial models, different personalities and different expectations.

That’s the modern private club.

Before 8:00 a.m., the golf operation is already running. The superintendent has been on property for hours preparing the golf course. The practice facilities are opening. The tee sheet is filed. The golf shop is busy.

And at the same time…

Fitness classes have started. The spa has appointments beginning. Tennis and racquet professionals are hosting lessons and clinics. Pickleball courts are full. The aquatics department is preparing for another busy day of activity. The maintenance team is solving problems most members will never notice. Housekeeping is preparing every space for the day ahead. The accounting department is closing last month while planning next year’s budget. Human Resources is recruiting for positions that turned over yesterday. Membership is selling the club’s future. Marketing is telling its story. Security is protecting the campus. Technology is making sure everything works.

Meanwhile, the executive chef is preparing hundreds of meals to serve multiple locations. Banquets are setting rooms for weddings, board meetings, golf outings, and member events. The à la carte restaurants are preparing for lunch and dinner.

And that’s when everything is going as planned and there’s no unexpected challenge such as…

A pipe breaks.

A member walks in the office with a complaint.

A key employee resigns.

The weather changes.

A wedding moves indoors.

A board member calls.

An employee needs clarity to complete a project.

A guest has a medical emergency.

A tournament schedule changes.

A refrigeration unit fails.

A social media post goes viral.

Welcome to Tuesday!

Unlike almost any other hospitality business, private clubs don’t operate one business exceptionally well. They operate dozens simultaneously. Every department has its own culture. Its own financial realities. Its own staffing challenges. Its own definition of success.

The golf professional thinks differently than the executive chef. The superintendent faces challenges unlike those of the membership director. The spa director measures success differently than the controller. The racquets professional leads differently than the food and beverage director.

Yet somehow, every one of those departments must feel like they belong to one club, one mission, and one team. That’s where the General Manager/COO comes in. The best General Manager/COOs aren’t the best golfers. They aren’t the best chefs. They aren’t the best accountants. They aren’t the best agronomists. Their greatness comes from something else.

They make all of those talented professionals better. They create alignment where competing priorities naturally exist. They build trust across departments that could easily become isolated. They help members think like owners. They remind employees that members don’t experience the club one department at a time…They experience it as one organization.

One brand.

One culture.

One promise.

That’s why leadership matters so much. Members don’t remember organizational charts. They remember experiences. They don’t care whose department made the mistake. They simply know the club either delivered on its promise or it didn’t. That is why the General Manager/COO must think differently than almost any leader in hospitality.

Every day requires balancing member expectations, employee engagement, financial stewardship, long-term capital planning, board governance, strategic vision, operational execution, and culture. All while ensuring every department feels supported, respected, and aligned.

It’s one of the few leadership roles where you are expected to be strategist, operator, coach, diplomat, mentor, financial steward, crisis manager, communicator, and culture builder…all before lunch.

Perhaps that’s why The Bear resonates so deeply with so many of us. It reminds us that excellence is never really about food. Or golf. Or tennis. Or pools. Or clubhouses. It’s about people choosing to pursue something extraordinary together.

The greatest private clubs are not built because every department is perfect. They are built because imperfect people learn to trust one another, challenge one another, support one another, and unite around a shared purpose. That is the beautiful dysfunction of hospitality.

And nowhere is that more evident, or more inspiring, than inside a great private club. Because in the end, the greatest achievement of a General Manager/COO isn’t delivering a perfect meal, a perfect golf course, or a flawless event. It’s building a team that continues to deliver excellence, together, long after the applause is over.

That’s the real story behind The Bear. And that’s the story of every great private club.

To every chef reading this, consider this article my sincere chef’s kiss, because before anyone else can serve excellence, you have to create it.

Club + Resort Business – August 2026

Thomas B. Wallace III is a partner at KOPPLIN KEUBLER & WALLACE. Tom can be reached at tom@kkandw.com.

The Bear: Beautiful Dysfunction and Why Leading a Private Club May Be Hospitality’s Greatest Leadership Challenge2026-08-19T19:39:19+00:00

Yes, You Can Take a Shortcut to Success

Yes, You Can Take a Shortcut to Success

As we journey through our lives and careers, how many times have we been told that “there is no shortcut to success”? Well, I beg to differ. I was fortunate early in my club management career to have the counsel of a wise club president and candid feedback from my administrative assistant.

My first valuable insight came from a club president. During one of our weekly breakfast meetings, I asked him if he would be comfortable sharing with me how he achieved the success he enjoyed. He was a highly regarded businessman who had started and sold a number of companies. His advice was respected by many of his fellow club members. He also had a wonderful family, and he was engaged in community activities.

He took a sip of coffee, smiled and said, “Dick, you are one of the few people who have ever asked me, but I am happy to share what I truly believe has been the catalyst for whatever success I have enjoyed. I was never afraid to ask for help! Maybe because I have always been curious about so much in life, but nonetheless, I found that asking for help was an incredible shortcut for achieving my goals.”

I shared this story with my business partners, Kurt Kuebler and Tom Wallace. As a result, we wrote an article, “Asking for Help Is Not a Weakness. It’s a Superpower.” In the article, we discuss how the most accomplished general managers in the private club world have become adept at saying, “I need your help.”

My first experience with the “power of asking” occurred after I had assumed the role of general manager at a young age. I was overwhelmed by some of the issues at our club.

Most frustrating for me was the lack of teamwork among the department managers. Everyone seemed to enjoy working in their own silos and, for whatever reason, was never focused on what I thought they should be doing. My epiphany occurred during a conversation with Renee, my administrative assistant.

I was telling her how disappointed I was that the department managers were not following my advice and not functioning as a team. She said, “Mr. K., it’s simple. Ever since you became our general manager, you have been telling us how we should do things, assuming you know the best answer. Never once have you asked for our opinion or help with any issue.”

I felt as though I had been hit on the head with a baseball bat. This 32-year-old general manager had just received a reality check on how his management team perceived him. A major paradigm shift in my leadership style quickly changed the club culture in a positive manner.

Not only did I engage our department managers on operational issues, but I also developed the same rapport with our entire employee team. Whenever an employee approached me with a problem, my favorite protocol became, “I can see that is an issue, what do you think we should do?”

A natural extension of this leadership strategy was to engage the same type of advice-seeking from our board members. Typically, private club boards are populated with successful and often influential people. I enjoyed tapping into this “brain trust” whenever there was an issue where I thought a particular board member might be able to provide insight. “Wow!!!” Best shortcut ever to getting some free advice.

As Kurt, Tom and I often say, “Admitting you don’t have all the answers doesn’t cost you credibility—it builds it.” Engaging the ready resources general managers have in their employee teams and boards is one of the quickest ways to build trust.

Yes, asking for help can truly be a shortcut to success. This much I know for sure.

The BoardRoom Magazine – July/August 2026

“This Much I Know for Sure” is a regular feature in BoardRoom magazine. Dick shares some of his reflections based on his 50-plus years of working in the private club business.

Yes, You Can Take a Shortcut to Success2026-08-18T18:44:03+00:00

‘Begin with the End in Mind’ To Have 90-Minute Board Meetings

Begin-With-the-End-in-Mind-to-Have-90-Minute-Board-Meetings

Perhaps the most vexing issue any private club board and general manager can face each month is how to truncate the seemingly endless monthly board meeting. I would submit that in finding a solution to this problem, we might need to turn to a renowned author.

My favorite habit in Stephen Covey’s best-selling book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” is “begin with the end in mind.” I believe that private club board members who subscribe to that concept will enjoy the benefits of productive and efficient board meetings. Success in truncating the endless discussions most club boards suffer through each month requires preparation in three distinct areas.

First, each board member must contribute to the process by ensuring they are prepared to give a report for the committee they chair. Most club standing committees will meet each month, and it is incumbent upon the chairperson and the general manager to see that an agenda is published and followed at the committee meeting.

Discussion items requiring a recommendation for action by the entire board should be prepared as “action plans.” These action plans will provide the rationale for the committee in making the suggested course of action and will also include any estimated costs that would result from the action plan.

Committee meeting minutes will document the thorough discussion and comments of the committee members, and these minutes should be attached to the committee chairperson’s report to the board. Keep in mind that the real work of the club should be done at the committee and staff levels, and not at the board level. Action plan items should receive a thorough hearing by the appropriate committee members before being referred to the board of directors for a final decision.

Second, the club president must be assertive enough to keep the board members focused on the agenda. The purpose of the board meeting is to review the work of the club committees and to act on the action plans presented by each chairperson. The president must ensure that the discussion does not rehash or replace the work of the committee members, but responds respectfully to the recommendations committees make.

Many clubs have developed an executive committee, usually consisting of the club officers and perhaps one other board member, which meets a couple of days before the board meeting to discuss agenda items. The executive committee will also review the minutes of committee meetings held during the month and discuss action plan items arising from the committees that will be presented to the entire board.

If the club does not have an executive committee, this important review function of the committee work falls primarily upon the club president, who must insist that each committee chairperson provide minutes and written action plans before the full board meeting.

Only committee chairpersons who have complied will be recognized for their reports at the board meeting.

Third, the club general manager should be the catalyst to ensure that committees meet regularly, with appropriate agendas and properly recorded minutes. The general manager will help committee chairpersons schedule their meetings, develop the agendas, notify the members of meeting dates and times and take meeting minutes. Following the meeting, the general manager will provide a copy of the minutes for the chairperson to approve.

The committee meetings may result in action plan items recommended to the executive board and the full board. The general manager and committee chairperson need to encourage full discussion of these items by the committee members so that the board will respect their recommendation and not “rediscuss” all of the details at the board meeting.

Committee minutes and action plans form the basis for club board decisions. A successful club general manager, a perspicacious club president and committed board members will understand that to “begin with the end in mind,” which is the 90-minute board meeting, you must actively engage each committee to do the work of the club.

If you start with that premise, you will enjoy the resulting 90-minute board meeting. This much I know for sure.

The BoardRoom Magazine – May/June 2026

“This Much I Know for Sure” is a regular feature in BoardRoom magazine. Dick shares some of his reflections based on his 50-plus years of working in the private club business.

‘Begin with the End in Mind’ To Have 90-Minute Board Meetings2026-06-22T20:38:58+00:00

A Tale of Two Clubs

A-Tale-of-Two-Clubs

It was one of the best clubs I have ever visited and five miles away was one of the worst clubs I have ever visited. With appreciation and thanks to Charles Dickens, one of my favorite authors, I want to engage his syntax to tell you a story of physically similar yet philosophically very contrasting clubs. While Dickens’ genre was fiction the following club tales are factual and true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

It had been over seven years since I worked with Happy Hills Country Club, located in a major mid western city and about five years since I was engaged by Slippery Slope Country Club in the same city only a few miles away. Both clubs have strikingly similar demographics, facilities, initiation fees and dues structures.

Both clubs are managed by capable and experienced general managers, who are supported by equally dedicated and talented department managers. Both clubs are governed by a nine-member board and each elects their club president for a one-year term. But that’s where the similarities end.

Happy Hills Country Club engages at least three of what I describe as “best practices” in the governance and management of their club while Slippery Slope Country Club seems oblivious to the trends and business practices so apparent in successful clubs. There are at least three significant “best practices” which clearly differentiate how these clubs function in the marketplace.

First, the general manager of Happy Hills Country Club is not only active in the Club Management Association of America, but he is currently a director for his local CMAA Chapter and has attained his CCM designation. The board at Happy Hills has encouraged the general manager to participate in CMAA and they have seen the many benefits that his membership in that association has brought to the club.

The general manager at Slippery Slope Country Club, while a member of the Club Management Association of America, seldom participates in the monthly chapter meetings and has not attended a national conference in over seven years. He is not pursuing his CCM designation, even though he has many years of experience in the club business.

The second “best practice” engaged by Happy Hills Country Club is a very thorough new board member orientation. Following the annual meeting and prior to the first board meeting with the newly elected members the general manager schedules a half-day orientation. The three new board members and the current club president meet the general manager at 8:00 a.m. at the club on a day when the club is fully operational. The general manager begins by taking the new board members and the club president on a walking tour of the facilities.

He introduces them to every department manager in the club and allows the managers to explain to the board members how they operate their departments. Board members have an opportunity to see firsthand what is really required to keep every area of club operations functioning on a daily basis.

Following the tour the general manager invites the new board members and club president to have lunch while he reviews the past three months financial statements, board meeting minutes, and also discusses how he will work with each of them and their respective committees.

The new board member orientation at Slippery Slope Country Club is very different. The general manager copies the minutes from the past six months of board meetings and also provides financial statements for the past three months. However, there is little or no additional guidance provided to these new board members.

The third “best practice” engaged by Happy Hills Country Club is an annual “board retreat” day. The general manager and the entire board would typically go to a neighborhood club that would allow them the use of their board room for the day. The agenda allows for a thorough discussion of the strategic issues and is usually led by an outside consultant or facilitator.

The general manager and board at Slippery Slope Country Club don’t believe in the value of this type of seminar or meeting outside of the club. The current board is struggling with some issues internally and is having difficulty keeping some board member conversations confidential following the board meetings. I wonder why.

As I continue to observe these clubs I can almost predict the ultimate outcome. I believe Happy Hills Country Club will continue to thrive and enjoy outstanding management and enlightened governance while Slippery Slope Country Club will muddle through with mediocre management and fractured governance, almost oblivious to how much better their club could function.

This “tale of two clubs” is being played out in almost every city I visit. When private clubs engage “best practices” they can experience the best of times, while clubs that ignore those practices will surely encounter the worst of times. It’s a choice Dickens would understand. This much I know for sure!

THE BOARDROOM MAGAZINE – April 2026

“This Much I Know for Sure” is a regular feature in BoardRoom magazine. Dick shares some of his reflections based on his 50-plus years of working in the private club business.

A Tale of Two Clubs2026-05-19T21:15:14+00:00

Stop it!!! I’m Done With “Technology Overload”

Stop-It-I'm-Done-With-Technology-Overload

After working in the private club industry for over 54 years, I have watched technology evolve and deliver many wonderful benefits that improve our business and personal lives. But I am concerned that too much technology is beginning to erode the quality of our business relationships and, even more importantly, our personal and family relationships.

I recently received a message on my phone that began with the disclaimer, “Please excuse any grammar or spelling errors since this message is being sent from my cell phone.” NO! Sorry, I will not allow you to “dumb down” the English language just because you don’t want to take the time to send me a grammatically correct message. Stop it! Communicate like an adult who knows how to write a simple declarative sentence without spelling errors.

During our family reunion over the recent holidays, I gathered all 12 of my nieces, nephews, grand nieces and nephews and in my best “Scrooge persona”, told them that from now on when I call them, I expect them to answer my calls and to call me back in a timely manner if they were occupied.

“But Uncle Dick, I am very busy,” one of my college-age nephews said. Stop it! You have no clue what “busy” is. Just spend a day with a private club general manager and you will then understand what it is like to be busy.

A few years ago, my business partner, Tom Wallace, was in town with his then-21-year-old son, Blair, and 17-year-old daughter, Bailey, and I decided to take them to Dominick’s, my favorite restaurant in Scottsdale.

Knowing how today everyone is glued to their cell phones, I told them that my only rule was that all cell phones would be left in the car during dinner. “Oh, but we need our phones,” they proclaimed. Stop it! After I dispensed with their verbal protestations, we enjoyed the evening and each other, without cell phones.

Walking out of the restaurant after dinner, Bailey commented, “You know that was some interesting conversation.” Yes, imagine what can happen when we get rid of the dis-tractions.

I don’t frequent fast food restaurants very often, but on a recent business trip, I walked into one of the better-known chain establishments and decided to order a cheeseburger, but without onions—one of the few items I am allergic to.

The restaurant, to my dismay, now requires you to place your order by using a free-standing computer screen. God forbid that we should be allowed to talk to a real person at the counter! After 10 minutes of trying to manipulate the order without onions, I gave up because it didn’t offer that option. Meanwhile, the line behind me had surged to a dozen people. Stop it! I walked out without any food and vowed to never, ever return to that chain restaurant.

My most recent airport experience also gave me an ex-ample of technology at its worst. I am “old school” when it comes to printing boarding passes, even though my business partners ridicule me.

Standing behind the family of four, I watched them try to find their boarding passes on their phones, which is now the preferred method among airlines. After a few minutes of an unsuccessful search, the gate agent finally had the family step aside as he tried to correct their apparent unsuccessful loading of their confirmation numbers. We were only delayed 10 minutes in our departure thanks to fumbled technology. Stop it!!

How tired am I of passwords? And if you forget a pass-word, you get to start all over. I recently tried to make a tee time on the website of my neighboring golf course. What had previously been a seamless experience has been altered because you now need a “password” to make a reservation. I won’t do it.

I called the course and asked the head golf professional why they added that feature. He said he didn’t know, but in his words, “it has created more confusion than it is worth.” I am convinced that if this trend continues, I may need a pass-word to use the bathroom in my own house. Stop it!

And finally, am I the only person who is tired of getting text messages from people you barely know? I don’t care what you are doing with your dog this afternoon, or when you are getting a haircut or what the weather is like in your city. I’m not going to carry on a conversation with text messages.

Stop it! I am done with “technology overload.” This much I know for sure!

THE BOARDROOM MAGAZINE – January/February 2026

“This Much I Know for Sure” is a regular feature in BoardRoom magazine. Dick shares some of his reflections based on his 50-plus years of working in the private club business.

Stop it!!! I’m Done With “Technology Overload”2026-02-18T02:39:29+00:00

A Golf Lesson & So Much More from Art Tangen

A-Golf-Lesson-and-So-Much-More-from-Art-Tangen-for-Private-Clubs

Every Friday at 4 p.m. after our last college class, my golfing buddy, George Miller, and I would hop in my trusty Volkswagen Beetle, along with our golf clubs, and drive five miles to Hallie Golf Club for a round of golf. The owner of the golf course was a PGA professional named Art Tangen.

Art had contracted polio at the age of one and wore leg braces for some years. That did not stop him from caddying during his high school years, which in turn motivated him to pursue his dream of becoming a PGA golf professional. After many years of leasing Hallie Golf Club, Art and his wife bought the club. They managed it until his passing at age 84.

Following one of my more dismal rounds of golf, Art asked me how my game was progressing. I said, “Mr. Tangen, I am having trouble with every part of my game, and I don’t know what I am doing wrong. I probably need a lesson or two, but that is something I cannot afford on my college student budget.”

He looked at me for a moment and then he said, “Get your clubs and meet me on the first tee.”

Art met me at the first tee in his Cushman gas golf cart. It was maybe one of the first models at that time. We played the first few holes. Art carefully observed my every shot and gave me tips on how to correct what I was doing wrong. By the sixth or seventh hole, I was playing much better and with some restored confidence.

Then we caught up to the foursome of college students on the ninth hole. Art told me to get in the cart as he drove up to the green and walked up to the four young men who had been playing in front of us.

He said, “Gentlemen, my name is Art Tangen, and I own this golf course. I have been playing behind you for nine holes and have noticed that you are not repairing any of your ball marks, you are not replacing your divots in the fairways, and you have been tossing candy wrappers and empty beer cans on the golf course.

“So I have a proposition for you. Beginning on this hole and going all the way back to the first, you can begin to repair all the ball marks you see, replace the divots you find and pick up all of the candy wrappers, beer cans and litter on the golf course.

“If you do that, you will always be welcome to play at Hallie. However, if you would rather not do what I have said, then you can leave this course, and you will never be allowed to play here again.”

One of the college students was perspicacious enough to step forward and say, “Mr. Tangen, we will repair all of the ball marks and divots and pick up all of the trash on the golf course. We really enjoy playing at Hallie Golf Club and want to be able to play here in the future.”

When we got back into the Cushman golf cart, Art turned to me and said, “Dick, always remember to leave the golf course better than you found it!”

That message resonated with me. Years later, when I started my club management career, Art’s words were imprinted in my mind. I broadened his statement to encompass all club operations, with the goal of always leaving the club better than I found it. I believe that every club I have had the privilege of managing was in much better condition—whether improved finances, better facilities, employee morale or member satisfaction—when I left than when I arrived.

The philosophy of “leaving things better than you found them” applies to many areas of our lives, and that mantra has been forever embedded in my personal and professional values. I will always be thankful for that playing lesson from Art Tangen because not only did he improve my golf game, but he also taught me a much larger life lesson.

To this day, Art, I always “leave the golf course better than I found it.” I will always appreciate the day you gave me a golf lesson and so much more.

This much I know for sure.

THE BOARDROOM MAGAZINE – November/December 2025

“This Much I Know for Sure” is a regular feature in BoardRoom magazine. Dick shares some of his reflections based on his 50-plus years of working in the private club business.

A Golf Lesson & So Much More from Art Tangen2025-12-09T20:50:47+00:00
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